Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm like, not good at living.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
