Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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