I like my sex mixed with concussions.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
