First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Vodka?
Forever.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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