You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
