In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
