he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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