I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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