You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
