i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
