I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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