I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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