I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize