Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
where am i from again
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you had me at cake vodka
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
