I will die if light touches me.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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