Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
