he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
