take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
