So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Randomize
