after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
