In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
