Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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