My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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