this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
