I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
