i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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