I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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