you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
