ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Randomize
