I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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