Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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