friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
