My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
