you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
