I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you win again, gameday.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
