There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Actions speak louder than pants.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
