my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
