Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
