Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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