i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
