Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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