loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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