Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
