ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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