Sponge bath it is.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
