even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
