She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
