No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you didnt know i had herpes?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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