the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
