I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
