I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
