I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
