Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize