Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
