It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
