Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
