Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
