Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
