We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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