my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
