Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
