College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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