Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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