You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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