hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
