We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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