You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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