Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
