with your own penis?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
