She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
