i think my tv is drunk
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
