I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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