My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
