i don't like sucking hair
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize