I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
