Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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