good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
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