yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
