u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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