I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
