she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
