in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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