I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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