why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
