Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
