I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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