you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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